On this episode of Destination on the Left, I’m joined by the dynamic Neelu Kaur, organizational psychologist, self-advocacy champion, author, and keynote speaker.

Neelu dispels the myth that self-advocacy is boastful, and we discuss how advocating for yourself can actually be a generous and empowering act. She shares how leaders and teams can create environments where all voices are heard, exploring the innovative concept of “generous exclusion,” and the importance of dialing up the “I” or the “we” when the moment calls for it. Neelu also suggests some great practical strategies for promoting authentic self-advocacy in any organization.

What You Will Learn in This Episode:

Why self-advocacy is often misunderstood as boastful and how to reframe it as essential for innovation
What “generous exclusion” means, and how being intentional about who participates can lead to more creative outcomes
How different processing styles impact participation in meetings, and what leaders can do to create safer spaces for all voices
Why structure is necessary for big, creative thinking, and how frameworks borrowed from organizations like Disney help teams brainstorm and dream without self-censoring
Understanding what energizes individuals creates a more productive, collaborative environment
What practical steps you can take to build self-advocacy skills

How Speaking Up Transforms Teams and Unlocks Personal Potential

So many people, particularly women, introverts, or those from cultures that value humility, see self-advocacy as something selfish or boastful. Neelu turns this assumption on its head, describing self-advocacy as the most generous act you can do. By speaking up, you model positive behaviors for others, making it easier for those who follow in your footsteps to do the same.

When you advocate for yourself, whether it’s sharing an idea in a meeting or negotiating your role, you’re not just advancing your own interests. You’re opening doors, encouraging diversity of thought, and paving the way for colleagues who may face similar barriers.

The Barriers to Speaking Up and How to Overcome Them

For years, Neelu thought her professional setbacks stemmed from a lack of skills, but she realized she just hadn’t learned to advocate for her ideas. Her silence was frequently misread as disengagement, and fast-paced meetings left her behind.

To overcome the hurdle of seeing speaking up as boastful, she recommends self-reflection and practical steps, such as practicing self-advocacy in low-stakes situations, like choosing a restaurant for dinner with friends. Leaders and organizations also need to adjust by building meeting structures that allow quieter voices to contribute and encouraging follow-up dialogue beyond real-time meetings.

Are We Over-Indexing on Collaboration?

Collaboration is praised as the ideal. But as we discuss, simply adding more people to a meeting doesn’t guarantee creativity—or even productivity. Neelu highlights the concept of “generous exclusion” by Priya Parker, sharing why being selective about who joins which meetings lets people focus, minimizes inefficiencies, and leaves room for deep work.

Organizations often over-index on collaboration, with endless group meetings that crowd out the time needed for innovation. Instead, leaders need to be strategic, invite the right mix of creative minds, give space for diverse strengths, and allow those who need extra processing time to contribute asynchronously.

Resources:

Website: https://www.neelukaur.com/
LinkedIn Personal: https://www.linkedin.com/in/neelukaur/
LinkedIn Business: https://www.linkedin.com/company/neelu-kaur/

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